Lunatic Alene and Company

Nkhoma had its fair share of mentally disturbed people, some living at the mission, others in villages around the mission. There was a gentleman called Madokera who had his abode at the market. He literally lived in a world of his own, having very few interactions with other people.

Twice a day, Madokera would walk up the road from the market towards the primary school, and stop at a certain tree a few metres past where Kandodo shop used to be. He would then go round the tree a few times and return to the market. That was his life, day in, day out. Not once did pick up a quarrel with anybody.

Another lunatic was from Zeze vilage, six kilometres north of Nkhoma mission. His name was Alene. Unlike Madokera, Alene was vocal and always sought attention. He used to move around with two hoe heads, which he used to bang, one against the other, making a sharp, ringing sound, to the accompaniment of his singing. Alene was basically a beggar. Some people advanced the theory that he was actually a normal person but was driven to the point of faking insanity in an attempt to run away from the problem of poll tax, which used to vex many Malawian men without a stable income.

Alene used to go door to door at the mission asking for money and food. When he was going to a white man's house, he would sing a nice hymn like Konda Dzinalo La Yesu (No. 61 in the Chichewa Hymnal), but would sing un-Chrisitian songs, sometimes loaded with profane language, on his way to a black family's house.

One day Alene came home, like he had done so many times before, and he was given a roasted sweet potato. Not satisfied, he attempted to force his way into the house, whereupon he met my father who was coming out of the house to check what was happening. For once, my father lost his temper on account of Alene's overstepping his boundaries. He pushed him outwards, and he (Alene, that is) momentarily lost his insanity. He shook his head, picked up his potato and left. As he waled away, he said, "Ee, obusa okadampanda lero! (The minister of God nearly clobbered me today)."

There was yet another mentally disturbed man at Nkhoma. His name was Nikisi. I cannot exactly recall which village he hailed from, but he was a regular visitor to people's homes. He was quiter than Alene and had an altogether more pleasant character.

Nikisi came home one day asking for money, and my father ordered that we give him some peaches. He got them and immediately started eating them. One of my sisters said to him, "Aren't they nice?" His reply was, "Unyung'unya bzunyung'unya, koma ine mfuna ndalama (Yes, they are sweet to the taste, but it is money that I want.)" With these few words, he left the scene.